Twenty Two Years

Since those dark, doe eyes first glittered
With hunger for my kiss
That eager gaze, lifting the haze,
Blinding your triumphant emergence 
from youths chryssalis

Twenty Two Years.

Since your sudden ascent to womanhood
Bewitched and left me breathless.
I capitulated to the worlds expectations, 
and forbade my thumping heart,
The "right thing" maybe, but clearly for me
A regret buried, deep, and restless.

We barely had more than a single kiss
Yet you lit a powerful torch in me,
That lives unrelinquished.
It burned fierce and so bright,
Fuelled by the promise, exposed that one night.
I had to lock it away but it never extinguished.

The embers have shone warm for two decades now,
Their soft glow slipping beneath that vault door
like a night light in the hall of my memories,
Tugging on my smile as I try to sleep.

And so here we are...
Those embers re-ignited by the sweet breath of your flirtation.
This delicious summer of love,
Secret whispers, indulgent fiction

The awakening to how closely our souls align
On life, on attitide,
On cherishing romance,
On loving our food.

Labels were gifted and worn with pride;
The virtual lover, the boss, the poet,
The piece of meat,
The piece on the side

We rediscovered a powerful symmetry
Which makes it hard to concede 
that 'we' can never be.

But concede we must

Our summer has passed and 
like the days cooling on autumnal winds
The flames of our passion, once intense and consuming as the fires of Hades
Have too diminished, as we knew they must,
Doused in the dull waters of reality
Smothered by dutiful demands of the lives we have made

But.... those embers glow still.
Having re-lit the torch you only need whisper desire
and the flames will roar

You my darling are the one I let go, 
The girl I let slip
Our timing was wrong, but as people we fit, and 
I will always regret not sweeping you away 
To that balcony in the woods
To have my way with you, 
To ruin you for good.

But know this - you are more beautiful to me today than you have ever been.
This year has made me realise how
I would have loved to have been your man;
Your smile lifts my spirits, 
You make me laugh like few girls can

My fingers ache to trace a path
Across your soft tanned skin.
To hold your face as I lean in close
My mouth on your neck
My name on your lips

These things I know are idle dreams,
To risk all we have built since you captured my heart 
would be folly....

Yet still...

Twenty two years later, you are still on my mind,
You will never be mine but you are my kind.
So I will keep the torch close, 
its light warming me still, and 
now and forever, at times, I will
Hold my hands to its warming flame, 
in the hope it may flare
as I breathe your name.